The dilemma of the holiday season is real for pastors. On the one hand, it is often the busiest time of year with respect to events related to your church. I’m several days late submitting this article because we are currently hosting our major Christmas outreach event, whose significant preparation and followup overlaps with the preparation and followup for our other Christmas events. It can be hard to keep up with everything in your church! But on the other hand, it is also a critical time of year both in terms of the needs of your church members and the number of visitors your church likely receives. For church members who have lost a loved one, or for families going through a crisis, the Christmas season can be particularly difficult—feelings of loneliness or isolation or regret can be compounded against the backdrop of family gatherings and gift exchanges. Furthermore, this strange alliance Christianity seems to have made with Santa Claus keeps the holiday in the secular vernacular. I’ve seen numbers suggesting that 90% of Americans observe Christmas; though less than half of them will go to a related church event, that’s still a significant number of guests that may be coming to your church!
I get it. That’s a lot to manage. In addition to all of these events and needs, you have sermons to prepare and articles to write, and you might have a family at home who needs you. But let me make this appeal to you, especially at this time of year: part of being pastor is being physically present with your church members and guests. This used not to be a question. I have spent a lot of time reading personal works of pastors in England and America in centuries past. Regardless of what we know them for today (how prolific or polemical they were), those men spent a great deal of time in the homes and businesses of their church and community members. They considered it their solemn duty as a minister of the gospel and a maker of disciples.
Somewhere along the way, some church leaders lost sight of that. I’m not sure if it’s specialization or laziness or misplaced priorities or the influence of the church growth movement (which has overreacted against a pastor doing all of the visits). I have pastor acquaintances who never go to the hospitals or darken the door of a church member’s home. They claim that to be the job of the deacons. Or the minister of pastoral care. Or the lay pastoral care team. Some denominations seem to be worse about enabling this than others, and I certainly understand the church growth argument that a pastor who tries to do all of the pastoral care in person will stunt that church’s growth and burn himself out. So let me offer a compromise.
Let’s agree that personal visits are a part of being a pastor.
The phrase “ivory tower” has been associated with the office of theologian. It’s the idea of a “privileged seclusion” so that individual can pursue whatever endeavor without interference or distraction. I have jokingly used the phrase, “Ministry would be great if it weren’t for the people.” I have known seminary students who believed that they could find a pastorate in which they would show up to preach and otherwise be left alone. (Some of those students later changed their aspirations to becoming a professor.) But that is not the model of the pastor that we find in the Bible.
The title “pastor” is taken from the context of shepherding. The pastor is the shepherd of his flock, the local congregation. In the Bible, particularly the pastoral epistles, the pastor is called to “lead” and “feed” his flock; we often think of this role as an undershepherd to the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ. The inspiration for that biblical figure was a shepherd who quite literally lived with his flock during certain seasons of the year. As Jesus noted, a good shepherd would personally guard the gate to the sheepfold. He knew the physical condition of each member of his flock because he observed them consistently and carefully. He knew the flock well enough to know who was struggling or who wasn’t eating well. A “virtual shepherd” today might be able to use drone technology to move a flock from one location to another, but he would be able to make all of the other observations an ancient shepherd could.
Incidentally, the Center for Pastor Theologians recently hosted a conference on technology, and one of the sessions addressed the idea of the “virtual church”. I came away from that session believing that there is a place for a virtual church for people in certain situations. But I think we also established that the virtual church is not to be preferred over the local congregation—it is a concession to the nature of the world that we live in. The gnostic Jesus was virtual. The Jesus of the Bible was incarnate. He did not have to physically walk on the earth any more than He had to be physically present to heal someone. But He did.
Like a shepherd, a pastor can only truly know the condition of members of the church by being with them. I know pastors who rely on surveys to keep up with the temperature of the congregation, and there is certainly value in surveys. But that feeds the strange idea that pastors pastor “a congregation”. Wouldn’t that imply that they cease to be a pastor when the people have dispersed? That would be the equivalent of missing the trees for the forest (if that’s a thing). You don’t pastor “a church”—you pastor the people who make up “a church”. Individuals. Families. People, each one of which is loved by God and brought into your church family for a purpose. I propose that this role extends to visitors inasmuch as they do not have a separate church home. Pastoring necessarily requires a personal relationship, and such a relationship cannot be a one-way street of every encounter taking place in the sterile conditions of the church building.
So then let’s agree that every pastor should be a part of his church’s visitation ministry.
Let’s continue to set a bar so low that you cannot disagree with it. Every pastor of whatever title should be a part of the church’s visitation ministry. (I understand that churches use terms like “pastoral care” and “visitation” in technical ways; most church members I know use those terms interchangeably, and so I will in this article.) Note that I didn’t say “should make all of the church’s visits”. That’s not healthy for any church or any pastor (as the church growth movement has rightly pointed out). But even if someone else coordinates the church’s care ministry, every pastor should be a part of it. My family is reading the Gospel of Luke this month, and my kids observed the parallelism between the sending out of the Twelve and the Seventy, and they quickly understood the importance of teamwork. But they also noticed that Jesus continued to work even while the others did. It was His job too.
I know the retort—I’ve heard it before. Many times. “Someone else can visit a hospital. No one else can prepare my sermon.” Have you tried saying that to Jesus? Or have you taken a serious look at Jesus’ life at portrayed in the Gospels? If your “sermon prep” doesn’t allow you any time to fulfill the God-given responsibilities of being the pastor of a church, then I challenge your understanding of your calling or the appropriateness of you calling yourself a pastor. Jesus taught the crowds. He also taught individuals. Jesus evangelized the crowds. He also evangelized individuals. Jesus ministered to the crowds. He also ministered to individuals. He acted in public. And He acted in private. Evangelism and discipleship both take place most effectively in the context of relationships, and you can’t have a relationship with a crowd. Like I said before, pastors don’t pastor a congregation; they pastor individuals.
My relationships with my fellow church members have taken root in the times I spent with them in hospital waiting rooms. Working together on mission trips. In conversation at lunch. Sitting next to them at a ball game. For families who joined our church, that relationship often began during the time I spent in their living room, talking about what our church believes and prioritizes, getting to know their spiritual condition. I don’t have the same depth of relationship with every member of our church; that would be impossible (and inappropriate). But other members of our staff do. And our Sunday School teachers do. And our deacons do. And together, we know how our church members are doing.
Here’s the strangest retort I’ve heard to my argument: “If I can’t have an equal relationship with everyone in my church, then I shouldn’t have a relationship with any of them. I wouldn’t want to show favoritism.” I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can help you.
But I’m still really busy. What do I do?
We still need to get to the main point of this article, don’t we? Especially during the Christmas season, pastors are particularly busy, and people have a particularly large number of needs. How can a pastor-theologian balance all of his obligations? Here are some simple lessons I’ve learned over the years:
Set biblical priorities. Sometimes what we enjoy doing doesn’t line up with our God-given responsibilities. Sometimes we overemphasize certain tasks because we prefer to spend our time on them. And sometimes we simply spiritualize our own preferences to justify ourselves.
Enjoy and love all people. I’m naturally an introvert and a type A (a bad combination). By the Spirit of God, I’ve discovered a love for people that motivates me to spend time with them. If you need a kickstart here, have a robust prayer strategy for the people in your ministry.
Let everyone on your staff be “Mary” sometimes. Jesus was not upset with Martha for doing the behind-the-scenes work; He rebuked her for trying to take Mary away from Jesus. Make sure the same person isn’t always running around preparing things; give everyone a chance to be present with others at least at some events.
Make the most of your time. Wherever you see a church member, give them your attention. Involve your family in your ministry so that you can all build relationships together (and connect with other families). If you’re going to play golf, play with church members. Watch the game? Invite church members. You want to protect family time and relationships, but you would be amazed at the number of things you do that can safely include other people.
Be intentional. Sometimes you just have to block off an afternoon and make visits. You won’t know how long they will take or how much they will take out of you, but you can’t let that stop you.
Be reasonable with your goals. You probably won’t be able to visit every homebound member the week of Christmas. But you can create a plan that results in significant visits being made, and if you coordinate with your visitation ministry, you can accomplish more than you may have thought.
Emmanuel means “God with us”. The reason Christians put the Christmas season on the calendar, however controversially, was to celebrate to gift of God’s presence with humanity in Jesus Christ. Jesus came to bear our weaknesses and carry our sorrows, giving His life for our salvation. If it was not good for Adam to be alone, it is not good for anyone to be alone. As pastors, we should be present with our people—not just as a group, but individually. Christmas is the perfect time of year for us to continue that ministry that Jesus has given to us to be with His people and with every person who needs to know the salvation found in Him.
Matt Ward is an Associate Pastor at First Baptist Church in Thompson, GA. He holds a PhD in Baptist and Free Church Studies from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is a member of the St. John Fellowship of the CPT.
