I didn’t come to a PhD in Theology by a typical path, and I didn’t know where it was going to lead when I was finished. When I began contemplating pursuing a PhD, I found myself asking What’s a good enough reason to get a PhD? The utilitarian deep inside me wondered what’s a good enough reason to spend the time and the money—particularly when I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I finished. I thought I might like to teach, but I didn’t necessarily know I wanted to be a professor—and as many are so clearly pointing out, the prospects of that are dim anyway. Nor was I currently serving in ministry with that as a frame for why I was pursuing the work.
I spent 10 years in the corporate world after earning an MA in Economics. I eventually grew weary of this and left to pursue an MA in Social Justice—and that’s when I fell in love with theology and was drawn to research at the intersection of economics and theology, and more specifically, how contemporary capitalism affects the discipleship and practices of the church.
A wise friend who had gotten his PhD in the United Kingdom, where I was considering going, and who had since spent many years in academia responded: “You have to really want to do the research;” because there’s no guarantee on the other side, and because if you aren’t passionate about the research you won’t make it through the darkest, hardest moments.”
A light bulb went on for me at that moment because that was exactly why I wanted to go. I was honestly so compelled by the research questions that I wanted to pursue. And I was fortunate enough to have the time, and through various means and circumstances, the ability to pay for the PhD without taking out student loans.
More than compelled, I felt called. Calling is a fraught concept, and one that I feel is particularly hard for women in the broadly evangelical world to navigate. What does it mean to be called? I still don’t have a clear definition. Most women I’ve met in ministry don’t often have the same type of “calling” stories that I often hear men tell. But I sense the Spirit in momentum, I asked God specific questions that he answered, and I saw and continue to see God weaving the threads of experiences he has given me.
I ended up in a fantastic, edifying community of students at the University of Aberdeen. In a research program you sacrifice breadth of knowledge for depth and expertise, but you can pursue your work in a much more customized manner working closely as the apprentice of an established scholar. While I worked specifically on my research, I also had the ability to attend many seminars that were of interest, and I learned how to read deeply, ask good questions, and think theologically about contemporary issues. The students I studied with all came with a genuine sense of calling and unique experiences that drove their research questions that they similarly believed were of crucial importance to the church.
There is no one path in the spiritual journey, or for a PhD, but God made this clear for me and God used it for what he had for me personally, and for the ministry he had in store for me. God led me to a unique role with InterVarsity Graduate & Faculty ministries that helps graduate students navigate faith and academic life, and to integrate their faith with their research. More broadly, my research has deepened my passion for and equipped me for leadership in a church that doesn’t leave our lives on Monday through Friday untouched and subject to formation by political parties, social media, or the news, but brings everything into the light of Christ.
Emily Beth Hill is a Campus Minister for InterVarsity Grad & Faculty Ministries, in Cincinnati, OH. She holds a PhD in Theological Ethics from the University of Aberdeen. Emily is a member of the 5th Fellowship of the Center for Pastor Theologians.
